Having a full-time photography business and being a full time Mom

I get a lot of comments about how I manage my life. The answer is: day by day. I find that parenting requires an extreme amount of two things I don't have a lot of:

1) patience
2) organization

I still manage...somehow. I think it's because I have an amazing husband and my amazing sister/nanny lives in town.

Here are my top tips to manage having your own business and being a full time Mom {I have a photography business)

• decide how you want your children to be cared for while you are away? There are more options than you think here.
  
• 1. Full time daycare? This just wasn't something I could ever "swallow" and because I have a flexible job, I didn't have to. PHEW. I think that was one of my biggest fears about having kids. I hear that many of my friends kids love it, but for ME, it was always going to difficult mentally to drop them off. Especially if they cried
     
  2. in the home of someone else-- there are lots of options like this where Moms stay home and watch other people's children for fairly inexpensive. Sometimes as low as $3-5/hour. This could've worked when I had one but with two it was a bit challenging with various nap schedules I wanted to keep.
  3. trade days with another Mom. I did this one fall and it worked beautifully except I was pregnant and it made it super hard to take care of someone else's baby if anything went "wrong" ie: child refused nap so she needed a push in stroller or to be worn, or extra attention. Little did I know this was my baptism into having two children.
     
  4. in your own home care/hiring a nanny. This is the option I chose since I only had to work 2.5 days a week. Matt comes home a half day every Friday so this option was awesome. I interviewed a bunch of college students via the site care.com and had great luck, only to have that gal move then learned what questions to ask and got a great nanny who is still with us. My sister does this job 6 months a year (she works seasonally) and I pay her. Bad part with this method: when nanny is sick -- you have to stay home.
     
  5. work from home while baby sleeps. HAHAHHAHA. I thought this could work for me for awhile but honestly when I'm home with a newborn or new baby and they go to sleep, I take a nap too. I did work from home with nanny at home some and found that I just got sucked into holding and loving my babies too much. I definitely needed to be working outside the home if the kids where home
• set a schedule and stick to it. I work Monday-Wednesdays and Fridays and always take Tuesday and Thursday to be with my kids. This REALLY helped me schedule work appointments, get into a weekly groove and it really feels like I spend every other day with them... because I DO!
  
• Support from the husband is critical. Matt can do everything while I'm away. He's very hands on and is super capable of any task with the kids: ie: bedtime, morning breakfast, diapers, making dinner with two kids running around, you get the idea. You work odd hours without great help either from your husband or a great nanny.
  
• Allow your husband to figure out how to watch the kids "his way"-- try not to micromanage him. I have to remind myself of this all the time. At the same time, try to "get on the same page" with your nanny and husband about all the food choice, discipline, etc etc.
• The days you are at home with your kids: play with them. This is the time you've set aside to be with them, don't be trying to squeak out more time to "check email" or make business calls. Make it clear to your clients: I don't work on X and X day. Set limits up or you'll find yourself not really enjoying your time at home with your kids and they will learn that Mommy isn't really paying attention to me and a whole slew of problems can arise from this.
  
• Do personal errands and what not on your "home" days so that the days you are at work you have no personal stuff to take care of and you can really focus on being productive. This means scheduling personal appointments either when your husband is home or bring the kids to the grocery store, doctor, etc.
• I can't "take lunch" with friends or plan any "non work" activities the days I'm working. I have to pack 40-60 hours of work into 30 hours. I bring a lunch and eat at my desk as much as possible.
  
• I take Sunday completely off. I never schedule client appointments on Sunday. Unless it's a wedding, I try to unplug on Sunday.
• On a non-wedding Saturday, I try really hard not to schedule anything. These weekend times with the whole family are really precious, I don't want to bother with a meeting I could have scheduled for Friday and miss flying kites with the kids, etc. There are exceptions to this but not many.
• I schedule client calls at 8PM after the kids are asleep. It's usually a great time for clients to chat too. I will not talk to clients at home with my kids in the background.
  
• keep a great calendar. I use iCal and have it on my iPhone, iPad, home and studio computer. Set alarms, send yourself emails. This really helps because life with kids is managed chaos.
• Get your kids on a great nap schedule... that way when you do have days a home you can still get an hour or two at the computer to catch up when you should be doing housework, of course!
  
• speaking of housework, hire a maid. Best money I spend every month. I.DO.NOT.CLEAN.MY.OWN.HOME. -- EVER. I tidy up, yes, I clean the kitchen nightly, yes. Bathrooms, floors and dusting... nope-- NEVER. This is a luxury service, but frankly I do not have the time nor the inclination to clean my home. It costs me $150/month to have a maid every other week. Bottom line: we don't have cable TV and we don't eat out much and I don't buy fancy coffee drinks. It's priorities, people. Believe me, you can find the money. You cannot get this time back with your kids. If you are a working Mom, you owe it to yourself. There is almost nothing that makes me happier than the day the house is 100% clean top to bottom and I didn't lift a finger.
• Finally you will always feel guilt when you leave your children. When they are in Kindergarten and "supposed" to be at school, I think a weight will be lifted off my shoulders (and my pocketbook). Guilt is just part of being a working Mom. Hopefully these tips will help you get more quality time with your kids, be productive at work and make you a happy Mommy. I know my time at work is not only productive for my business but also for my family. I love my job and I look forward to every Monday, Wednesday and Friday but I also LOVE Tuesday/Thursday. It's a good balance. I hope you can find yours.
  

side note: I realize I'm super lucky to have this type of flexibility, but it's a blessing and a curse. Mostly a blessing but the business has suffered a little since I had the kids-- okay, A LOT. While I love my business, my #1 priority is my family. I can always have a successful business, but I can never get this time back with my kiddos.

Final shakedown: Cloth Diapers, how to, why and well, just do it...

It's been almost 3 years and two kids in cloth diapers so can I consider myself a veteran? Yes, yes, I can. Do I still love them? Yes, I do. I've certainly had my moments, especially when both kids were in diapers for 6-8 months -- lots of diaper laundry but with one kid... PIECE OF CAKE! Here are my tips for cloth diapers. I will take a photo of my set-up and add it.

Supplies you need:

1) a baby that is 8-12 weeks (let's face it folks, who wants to wash 20+ diapers a day ? Rather than make yourself a slave to diapers-- I say wait until that poop is not happening every time you blink, and then start)

2) a good set of cloth diapers -- I'd say 15-20 is really comfortable. Do what you can afford but at LEAST 12. I use Fuzzi Bunz and YES I know they are made in China but really people, what isn't? I've had the same size medium Fuzzi Bunz with me since Owen was 3 months. MJ did a review of other cloth diaper ideas including g-diapers on this blog here.

3) Good detergent, I've used Charlie's Soap and now I'm using Vaska, which I can get locally at New Profieteers (I mean Frontiers), so I don't have to have it shipped and thus save the planet even more... ah hem anything you ship uses fuel...

4) Just bite the $50.00 bullet and buy a diaper sprayer. Do I have to go there? Believe me some sticky baby poop needs a little "shower" to release itself into the toilet...you will thank me later.

5) a cloth can liner. Personally, I don't even have a disposable diaper trash can in my nursery...too tempting. Make it a hassle to use anything disposable... I mean, it's nasty anyway-- What's nasty you ask me? POOP sitting inside plastic disposable diapers rolled up in plastic bags shaped like a sausage so it doesn't smell like poop in your house... THAT is what is nasty. I use a regular trash can with a flip up top. We got it at Target and yes, I wish it wasn't plastic.

6) brings me to WIPES: that's right, CLOTH WIPES... might as well so long as you are washing the diapers. I get them on whatever site I buy the diapers from.. you'll need around 20-25. If you are crafty and can use a sewing machine, which sadly I cannot, then make your own from old soft towels. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT have disposable wipes handy or you'll use them and guess what you won't have a trash can for them...thing is disposable wipes are nasty... believe me people I want as much cloth between my fingers and human poop as possible and flimsy little disposable wipes just don't cut it. I get grossed out anytime I have to use them.

7) While you are at it, get a cloth wipes warmer. I have a Prince Lionheart and apart from the little glowing heart being like 60watts, I love it. HINT: use black electrical tape to cover blasting light. This is the way to go for cloth wipes because they will always be WET and ready... and you guessed it, WARM!! I also used a friend's disposable wipe warmer when I was running my "two kids in two diapers" circus over here. It worked fine. Ask around, I'm sure someone has one. A trick is to put a wet cloth at the bottom of the warmer and don't let it get too dry. Here in AZ every damn thing gets dried out even a wet wipe warmer. I know, I know... it uses energy. So get some solar panels.

7) Use one disposable a day until they don't pee so much at night. Just trust me on this one. The peace of mind is worth the 365 diapers in the landfill. If you can do cloth diapers at night, my hat is off to you. Personally, I wanted the child to sleep and NOTHING was going to stand in the way, least of all a WET diaper. I buy Nature Babycare because they are supposedly compost ready but don't let me fool you, I also buy Huggies Pure and Natural because they work amazing. Harper is 15 months now and we are using cloth at night because she doesn't pee so much anymore at night... some babies and kids do... but those kids probably drink A LOT more liquids than my kids.

8) Some type of small cloth diaper tote thing that travels in your diaper bag. I have two and it's plenty. Yes, you can take your cloth diapers on the go. I have taken them on EVERY vacation we go on. The only time the child wears a disposable on vacation is on the actual day of travel if it's more than 10 hours... I just don't have room in my carry on for dirty diapers. When you travel with kids you are likely going to a place with a washing machine. The only glitch is that you need to remember your own detergent and have access to a washing machine. I have a small bottle that I carry with me on every trip. I usually only end up doing diapers two times... NOT that big of a deal. NOTE: if you are going to a hotel, call ahead to see if there is access to a washing machine, you will be surprised. If we are camping or traveling by car, I just pack one of our large diaper can liners and put dirty diapers in there and wash when we get home. Click here to view additional cloth diaper accessories.

9) A place to go with all the money you save. The average American family spends -- ARE YOU READY?? $3,000 on ONE CHILD's disposable diapers. Save yourself approximately $5,200* get some cloth diapers and hit the Caribbean! It's cheaper, folks what else do you need? *that figure assumes two children. I've spend approximately $700 on TWO KIDS!! My initial investment was $400 and then the accessories and replacing some inserts, etc.

NOTES AND TIPS

1) NO EXCUSES. The moment you start making excuses why you should use a disposable, well, it's a slippery slope. I just limit myself to one a day. No exceptions.

2) You are worried about how gross poop is and what it does to your washing machine? Don't be silly, you are a Mom, you'll be cleaning up some serious S*IT in the next 18 years, this is literally the least of your worries. Once you've knocked out most of the solids, or flipped it out (if your kids hate veggies --really poop just flips right into the toilet after they start eating solid food), or sprayed it out, or sloshed it out... you'll find your own tricks... you flush it, and pop that diaper into the can liner and it won't stink because it's not a huge turd sitting in your nursery. You will need to wash diapers every 3 days at the most, which means about twice a week, WAY MORE with less diapers. Again get 15-20 - it's worth it.

3) All, I repeat ALL the grandparents, babysitters and nannies have used my cloth diapers with no problems. If a 14 year old girl and a 65 year old man can do it, trust me, you can too!

If you have questions, please comment here, I'll get an email and respond!

My yearly family album

In my professional photography business, I make albums for people using companies that only work with photographers, blah blah, but in my personal world I make albums for myself and my family using Blurb.com -- They even have bookmaking software, which I did end up using for this album. It took me HOURS to do this... as in 30 hours or something -- it's sure was a labor of love!

Clark Family 2010 by Cameron Clark | cameron + kelly studios | Make Your Own Book

Potty Training Sucess!

Owen is a big boy! He is potty trained. I am so happy! About every six weeks I'd try for the morning to take off his diaper and either let him run around naked or just put on underpants. He would pee in them all. 16 pairs one morning. So I knew he wasn't ready. It was frustrating because the child has pooped in the potty since 20 months. Finally this last two weeks he seemed to stay dry longer. One day he said, "I have to pee" and ran to the potty... that time he didn't make it but he recognized the feeling and within a week or so he was holding it!

I don't know when you drop the diaper at nap time and bedtime... I'll have to ask some other mom's because he seems ready for that too since his nap and bedtime diapers are dry after he wakes up.

Here are some things he's said recently.
Mommy: "Owen, how did you like camping last night?"
Owen: "I peed on a tree"
"No, Thank you" -- he says this to the funniest stuff. I need to write one down.
"Aweee, it's okay girl" (he says this to Kaibee when Thunder rolls outside-- she get scared)
"Mommy are you sending messages?" When I'm at the computer he says this.
from the bathroom, "Harper, Chill"
after sleeping in our bed... Matt went to check on him and he was at the top of the stairs (he had let himself out of our room -- probably the first time he's woken up from sleep and been able to get out of bed himself) "Daddy, I cannot go anywhere"
Owen, what is your favorite thing about school? (we visited a preschool and meet the teachers at Matt's elementary campus) "The mini potties," what else, "I can wash my hands in the sink myself."
Vovo Pirate told Owen that if he could keep his pants dry and pee in the potty, she would give him a truck, he said, "I need to pee in the potty now." She said she would give the truck to the mailman and now every time the doorbell rings Owen says, "it's the truck!"

Harper 8.5 months Owen 28 months - notes

So I thought I'd just do a quick stream of conscientiousness post about where the kids are with all their "stuff"
Harper is 8.5 months and is crawling, pulling up to stand and sleeping fairly well. She gets up usually only once in the middle of the night, nurses and goes right back to sleep. Occasionally she'll get up one other time and then sometimes get into a bad habit of waking 2-3 times. Recently that happened and she was waking at 11PM, 1AM and 4AM. One night we let her cry herself back to sleep during the 4A wake up (with Mommy at her side for part of the time) but it took her 1.5 hours and she didn't want to be held and I didn't nurse her (I wanted to wait until at least 6AM) and then the next night she was back to waking only once. I love holding sweet Harper when she has just fallen asleep and puts her thumb in her mouth and is on my chest right before I lay her in her crib. It's a very sweet bonding time for us and I know it doesn't last forever. She isn't really into reading stories yet but we've begun trying to read her some before bed from time to tome. She still just wants to put everything in her mouth and eat the books. She has two bottom teeth but that's all and she loves to eat in general. If you leave her alone for two seconds, she'll have a hairball and a bark chip (from the plants) in her mouth. She moves it around in her mouth and spits it out. She is such a sweet baby that I am NOT looking forward to her growing up like I did with Owen. She is at that quintessential baby age where they love rattles, laugh and explore everything. She goes to bed around 7PM and wakes up between 6-7AM and if she is up early, one of us gets up and walks down to the coffee shop while the other one sleeps in. Owen wakes up around 7AM.

Owen: is 28 months (2yrs) and talks and talks and talks. He frequently has 7-9 word sentences and is beginning to tell us how he feels. We are unsure if he really means it or if he's just repeating some memorized phrase but he'll say things like, "Daddy, I don't feel so good." and "I'm not hungry." He had been telling us when he has to poop with more regularity first beginning with "My stomach hurts" and then progressing to actually telling Matt he has to go potty or poop, which is great. Now if he could just recognize the signals for peeing!! He is pooping on the potty very well now but doesn't care about being soaking wet and will wet his "big boy" pants if we put them on him and he doesn't care about being wet. We try about every two months with the big boy underpants to see if he can keep them dry but he's too busy to stop and pee. I'm not pushing it and I'm just glad he doesn't poop in his pants anymore. GROSS! Owen sleeps from 1PM-4PM and often we have to wake him up around 4PM or he doesn't want to go to bed. He goes down around 8PM but could stay up later and often talks to himself in the crib for an hour in the pitch black darkness. He loves the movie Cars and has a lot of the die cast cars -- his favorites at the moment are "Gill" his green 18-wheeler. He has watched the whole movie cars many times at home and has begun to enjoy watching "shows" or TV. We only let him watch actual TV for 30 minutes a day if at all because Mommy hates the commercials. He likes Max and Ruby, Little Bear, Go Diego Go, Dora and some others but we really don't watch a lot of TV. I use it sometimes if I have to go upstairs to put Harper down and it buys me some "safe" time with him sitting mesmerized on the couch. He's a little scared of the scene in Cars where Mater and Lighting McQueen go "tractor tipping." He has had a great summer home with Matt and gotten lots of Daddy time. I dread Matt going back to work but the consistency and schedule are nice. Right now every day is different and that's hard to get used to. He's gotten more into "hiking" and we've taken him to the trail on various occasions and he loves to walk and walk and walk. He's definitely into walking more vs. riding in the stroller but he gets "tired" and then you end up carrying him home.

Summer Smiles, Dicipline and 2 year olds

Okay so I've been neglecting this blog. Can you blame me? I'm pretty busy these days. Having my own business and two kids under two (okay now he's over two) but you get the idea...
I couldn't resist posting these photos of Owen with the garden hose.

As Owen approached age two, it became obvious that this kid was going to give us a run for our money. He whined, he cried, repeat. He does things because he knows we don't want him to, he especially likes to tempt fate when you are holding Harper because he knows you have no hands to stop him... You find yourself getting so irritated and losing your "cool, calm and collected" self. You like to think you never yell at your kids, then you find yourself grabbing their arm and saying, "because we are going upstairs to change your diaper now... and dragging them upstairs..."

I have been hoping to find a great book about discipline and many "formal" methods have been suggested. I bought the Supernanny book, and the Magic 1, 2, 3 but none of that sat well with me. Afterall, I'm starting from scratch, and I felt like I should be able to mold this kid into a well behaved child simply by example. I had an interesting conversation with my friend Dara and she suggested this PATH program and the book is out of print but I subscribe to his "Daily Groove" digest emails. I haven't paid to be a part of his forum program, but I plan to.

When your child spills his milk for the 5th time of the day ask yourself? Is it really worth getting ANGRY over? Your child is 2 years old. They are looking for your reaction. If you simply clean it up (perhaps even have them help clean WITH you) and avoid the commentary... "this is the THIRD time I've had to clean up after you, son, and I'm sick of it, I can't tell you how glad I'll be the day you never spill your milk again...." they will stop doing it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but they will stop and they will just come to a realization that spilling milk isn't that great. Scott's whole parenting approach (as I understand it) is focused on the parent experiencing power WITH your child rather than controlling your child through dominance. It's an interesting concept. Basically ruling with mutual respect. I like that. It's hard in the moment to center yourself, breath and NOT get angry but it's worth it. It's all about your reaction.

Owen gets a haircut and Harper likes a bath!

It's hard to cut your boy's hair. At least for me. I just loved it long and shaggy but it was getting TOO long and I kept meaning to make an appointment at the real hair salon to get some cute "California surfer" cut for Owen. Alas, the 10 minute Barber shop walk-in was too easy. He is crinkling his nose because some little hairs were getting in his face. He kept wanting to bring his hand to his face... anyway, so cute. Harper is 4 months in March and loves to take a bath with Owen and Daddy. She is the sweetest easiest baby minus the part about how she doesn't take a bottle, but HEY, perfection is a lofty goal.

Here are some photos of Owen and Harper in March 2010.

Owen's 2nd birthday

I can hardly believe my boy is two years old. I hate to say that it goes fast, because to me each day seems slow but two years have passed since I delivered our boy and that does seem incredible. This birthday was a bit of a whirlwind. We decided to have a little pot-luck party over at our house and it was really hard to be a hostess. Harper seemed just a tad fussier and more needy during the party than usual but Owen seemed to have a great time. He kept saying all day "I want ma cake" or "I want to eat ma cake." Finally the time came when we sang the birthday song and he just kept lunging for the cake -- mouth first. Special thanks to Katrina of Sedona Bride who, stepped in like the great friend she is and shot some photos on my camera for me. It's so great to have a friend whom you can just hand the camera to and say, "can you shoot this?" (and KNOW they can handle it). Sometimes my life as a photojournalist is hard because you want to photograph everything but then you never get to participate! Yesterday I was "wearing" Harper in the Moby Wrap and it proved too hard to play photojournalist at the same time. Enjoy the photos of the kids. ~cameron~

Potty Training | how to tackle with a toddler under 2 years

HA HA. Like I know the answer to the title of this post. But seriously, I should give you the update on cloth diapers past the age of 18 months. Um, it gets a little old dealing with "adult" size, shape and yes you guessed it smelling poop on a daily basis. I kept wondering, "When does this potty training stuff begin?" because,

I'm READY!!!

So, being the cheap, I mean *green* mother that I am (Seriously the cat is out of the bag, I STILL don't have my compost bin over here. Can someone just drop that thing off? I used to be such a good com-poster. AH hem, being the *green* mother that I am, I asked about used potties (is that gross?) on my MOM'S Club North email listserve. I love this group ladies, if you are a Flagstaff Mom, it's a great way to network amoug other moms and swap stuff... errr, like used potties and find used cribs and all that on the cheap. I get so many bags of clothes from other mom's just dropped at my door and when we had Harper they arranged for 10 meals for me in the first two weeks. It was luxury. It's $25 a year, so it's a DEAL!


ANYWAY... I got one, for free. AND...

I put it in the bathroom. Matt and I (and Tia Kate) talked endlessly about pooping, peeing and potties with Owen for months. We bought Once Upon a Potty (used of course) and read it (note: I changed some words in that book because I am just NOT calling it "pee pee and poo poo." I just call it what it is: poop and pee. No need for double cutesy words around here. Also, it's a penis folks, and that's what we call it. So we read Once Upon a Potty (just saw online that there is a DVD) and a Mom's club friend also gave me "Elmo's Potty" book and the more potty books and potty talk the better. We also let Owen come with us to the potty and talked about pooping. I mean this might sound weird, but there is no privacy when you have kids, people, it's all in the open, so just embrace it. He was very curious and I think that helped. We would talk about how big boys don't cry (HAHAHAAH) and big boys poop on the potty and little babies (ie: my new baby Harper) pees and poops in their diapers.

Let the brainwashing begin...

Starting at 20 months we had a lot of success with him peeing on the potty at the end of the day right before we changed his final diaper. He had been peeing on the potty just once a day for a truck sticker for about 6-8 weeks. We kept asking if he wanted to try pooping on the potty but he would always say "no" and get a little irritated. I figured we shouldn't rush him especially at this age. I kept reminding him if he did end up pooping, he would get a lollipop.

One day (around 21.5 months) Owen didn't stop chattering and didn't fall asleep for his nap. (this kid naps like a champ and he doesn't like his fragile schedule to be interrupted). So, it was easy to know something was wrong (also clue#2 was that he farted a lot of times when I was reading him stories before naptime). After 1 hour and 20 minutes of chatter but no sleep, I went into his room and said,

"Do you have to poop?"
Owen: "YEAH"
Mommy: "Oh, do you want to try pooping on the potty?"
Owen: reluctantly, "Yeah"

I know a golden opportunity when it presents itself. I wanted to take a video of him but you'll read why I couldn't. Lucky for me Harper was fast asleep giving this pooping adventure my full attention.

So I put him on the potty and he says
"Mommy come back"
which I took to mean, GO AWAY!!
So I did. He wanted his privacy and hey, even though the irony there is thick, I respected that. So my home office is on the landing right outside the bathroom and I just clicked around on Facebook nervously hoping he didn't poop on the floor or something. I kept checking back and he was just sitting there reading his books. On the third peek I saw him leaning over the wicker magazine basket in the corner making a grunting sound.

"OH SHIT" was really what I wanted to say, but instead I gather my most calming *mommy* voice and said,

"Owen, if you have to poop, go ahead and do it in the potty, would you like me to move your potty to this corner of the bathroom?"

Owen, "YEAH"

Mommy, "okay"

I'm thinking, "that was a close one." I check back in a few minutes and sure enough it was stinky in there and I could see he had finished his business. At this point he was having so much fun on the potty reading his books that he wanted to continue doing that... SO.... I let him enjoy this moment (15 minutes of it) as I figured rushing it could give him a bad experience.
After he was done I made a BIG deal about it, exclaiming how proud I was and using my *outdoor voice* indoors. Telling him how badly I wanted to tell Daddy. I read him two stories, gave him a lollipop and put him down for a real late nap. He was content to sleep.

In the two weeks since then, he's done amazing. We are still taking it slow keeping the diapers on but he's pooped 10 for 11 tries in the potty. Last week we went to Las Vegas to visit my grandmother and brought the potty and he did all his pooping in it on that trip and last night we went to my sister's (Tia Kate) for dinner and he even pooped over there (oh yes, we brought his potty). I am looking for a portable potty. Anyone with ideas?

Honestly I keep meaning to read this book "Toilet Training in Less than a Day" but haven't had time. I think tomorrow we might go for the "no pants" training option and try to have him learn about when he has to pee to use the potty too. He is *sorta* holding it between diaper changes and then peeing in the potty as we now put him on the potty to pee about 4-5 times a day. He does like to put Mickey on the potty too. We have some Thomas the Train big boy pants and some pull-up style diapers but everyone tells me because we do cloth diapers it won't take long to train him fully.

A potty trained boy can go to preschool in the fall. That is our goal. Montessori preschool a few half days a week.

Harper is 3 months now and poor girl doesn't even have a dedicated blog post yet... it's coming but she is such a good baby, I hardly have a thing to talk about. Enjoy the photos of the kids.
Here's a video that only a grandmother can love.... but stick it out you might laugh out loud. I did.

Harper Jo Clark's home birth story 11/09/09

I better write this down before the details become soft and out of focus. If you like to read birth stories, this is a good one because it's an encouraging swift delivery... the kind we all want to have. I feel lucky to have experienced two perfect home birth deliveries. It will be very sad to ever leave this house since both my babies were born here.

Stand and Deliver
Nov. 9, 2009 | Harper Jo Clark's birth story

So, around 3:45AM on early Monday morning, I felt it. The first contraction.
"oh," I thought.
"what a coincidence," Owen's birth story started around 3AM." I'll just go back to sleep and wake up and get ready for this birth.
One problem. I couldn't sleep. Not because I was anxious but because the contractions were a minute long and every 10 minutes with alarming consistency. I didn't wake Matt up, but at 6AM I told him, "I'm having contractions," to which he replied,
"The real ones?"
"Yes."
And so it began. I got up, got dressed and began the day with Owen, Matt and Sarah (Matt's mom flew into town Sunday night). The contractions this time were a lot more painful and longer and more consistent throughout the morning than my early labor with Owen. I had to stop what I was doing while I was having one just to breathe and focus. I couldn't be sitting, either, it hurt too much.

I called Womancare Midwifery at 8AM just to let them know that today was likely the day unless things just progressed really really slow. Mary Ann reminded me that I should call back when contractions were consistently coming 5 minutes apart or much much harder and longer. Matt and I went for a walk sometime around 9 and they were coming every 4-5 minutes and a little harder. I called Mary Ann back at 10AM. She said they would come, set up, check my progress and vitals and we'd go from there.

The midwives showed up at 10:45-11AM and set up all their gear...which took awhile. You see, they carry LOTS of stuff for delivery including oxygen infant resuscitation. As soon as they walked through the door, my contractions slowed down to 10 minutes apart and not as 'heavy.' Kindra checked me and I was 4-5cm and 90% effaced. Just before noon, Kindra said she felt comfortable leaving me so long as I called back if the contractions got harder and closer together.Mary Ann made the comment she had seen women go from 4cm to 10cm in 20 minutes so don't be afraid to call. My sister Kate also left and was going to come back around 2PM.

Everything seemed under control. I felt fine. Matt wasn't even counting my contractions for me at this point. I ate some lunch and went upstairs to read. Gran was hanging out with Owen and putting him down for his noon nap. All was well. I finally called Matt in to start counting the contractions so we'd have a better idea of where I stood with everything. it was about 12:10PM.

OUCH. That one hurt. I started breathing a lot heavier during the contractions, which were now coming about seven minutes apart but much harder.

OUCH. THAT one hurt.

OWWWWWWEEE. That ONE really hurt.

Plus I started getting really annoyed at environmental things.. ex: Kaibee, our dog, was "stinking," I told Matt to get her out of the room and Owen was talking up a storm with Gran, which was distracting and annoying to me. I told Matt to shut the door. I remembered being annoyed at dumb stuff last time when things got serious.
So I labored from about noon-12:45 and told Matt, "call Kate, Call the midwives, we need them back." I knew it was time to call the midwives when I recognized the "emotional signpost" (Bradley Method) of doubt/self-doubt. I was thinking secretly to myself,

"WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING ANOTHER HOME BIRTH?" "I CANNOT DO THIS AGAIN!"

Kindra arrived first shortly before 1PM, and Mary Ann not long after that. I was lying on the bed "laboring" and then realized, I'm having way too much pain in this position, I need to get up. So I got up. Moving while in active labor was with both births extremely uncomfortable. I stood at the edge of the bed and held on to the bed post between contractions, which were getting confusing... was that a contraction or was I supposed to push there?

am I through transition? I knew it was getting close because the midwives didn't seem too worried about checking my dilation status...

I was getting this feeling of something LARGE (think baby head) STUCK right around my anus. Sorry. It felt like I had to poop a large watermelon. There I said it. I didn't remember this feeling from Owen's birth until it was ALMOST over, so I said to the midwives,

"What am I doing here, am I pushing? I'm feeling a lot of pressure"

Kindra (calmly) "Oh, yes, Cameron this baby is coming, the head is right there, and we are seeing more and more of it."

me thinking: THE HEAD?? WHAT?

but I'm STANDING up!!!. I had not pictured a standing delivery. This is almost over? I felt like it just started, but FINE BY ME.

Kate, my sister, had rushed back to the house at some point after 1PM and I noticed her watching me, felt bad for her, and wanted to give her a little smile, like "it's okay, I'm fine," but I couldn't really open my eyes, even for a second to be my *old* self. I was in serious *la la* labor land. All I could manage were some primal grunts, groans --your typical Hollywood labor noises.

PUSH. GRUNT. PUSH. Insert primal noises and a very scared, "your doing great, Cameron" from my sister.

Water broke.

I'm thinking "oh wow, this is happening NOW."

I don't know, really, it wasn't the same type of pushing as the first labor, which was textbook-- One two three, here's a contraction and PUUSSHHHHH... Harper was more like. Ouch, ouch ouch, and feeling the uterus doing lots of it's own work and then I'm giving it a little push here and there when I felt like it.

Kindra: "Okay the head is out."

me thinking: WHAT? THE HEAD is OUT?--

okay calm yourself, now all I have to do is push the body out, so here goes...

...and next thing I knew there was a baby on a towel being handed up to me. I'm told Matt knelt down and "caught" the baby as it came out. It was pretty amazing. I went and took a seat on the bed with the new baby and lifted her leg,

"It's a girl!!" I said. Everyone laughed. I thought it would be a boy.

So my active labor was less than an hour an a half. PRAISE JESUS. I went from 4-5cm to 10cm in less than an hour. I really liked delivering during the day because then you don't have to stay up all night and never recover that sleep.

The midwives service was great, as usual, and they took care of everything, including changing and washing the sheets and linens When they leave, your house looks like they were never there (Mary Ann even brought over some homemade hummus and crackers)! They do a standard follow up visit at home one day later, and three days later. I can't say enough about how nice it is to have the baby in the comfort of your own home, sleep beside your husband that night and receive follow-up home care and lactation consulting. To me, that is the way it should be. You shouldn't have a question about nursing your baby that doesn't get answered in person by an expert. One HUGE bonus is that if it's your second child, you don't have to worry about what will happen with your first born while you go to the hospital (or your dogs) Who will watch him? How will he nap or sleep? How will you call someone at 3AM to come over? Will he be safe and happy? Those are definitely concerns I didn't have or think of until a friend pointed it out to me. A pregnant woman has enough to worry about, the last thing you need is more anxiety. Owen was able to see the baby within a half an hour of her being born (I woke him from his nap with my primal sounds **I have a video of his first reaction, which I'll post soon). Additionally, it seems like when I go to any doctor's office, I can never remember what I was going to ask them, but when the midwives come to visit me at home, the dialog begins and when they leave all my questions are answered. If they're not, of course, I can reach them on their cell phone. Prenatal and postnatal care with great customer service, Why? Because you deserve it.