Buy a plane seat for your toddler, really, you want one.

Traveling. Ah the joys with a toddler. Owen was 16.5 months on this trip. Since we live in Arizona and Matt's whole family lives in the Southeast, we took a trip back there this summer for 10 days because lord knows we won't be traveling with two babies for awhile.

Believe me one is enough. So we got the GO GO KIDZ travel mate because I knew we'd be traveling by car from Charlotte, NC to Greenville, SC, and Greenville to Athens, GA and Athens to Atlanta, GA. Plus silly me thought that if we toted that car seat with us, maybe, just maybe, there would be an extra seat on the plane and we could use the car seat to corral him.

Nope. No extra seats these days on planes-- EVEN on Tuesdays or Saturday. Sorry, if the plane isn't full, they get a smaller one and pack you into that one, oversold.

I have to say the GoGo Kidz hookup for the car seat was GREAT for transporting Owen through the airport easily and we were able to take our car seat and gate check it with no problem. I give it two thumbs up. I did find it in SkyMiles magazine for $10.00 cheaper than in One Step Ahead.

Q: So, what is it like traveling with a 16-month-old on a four hour plane ride?

A: A three ring circus in a two foot space. You become the personal entertainment and it's exhausting.

Here are some things I would recommend:

• plan trip strategically around the nap schedule. Even if they don't sleep their full nap, at least PART of the flight they will be sleeping. Ex: Owen sleeps at noon, so we got on planes around 10:30-11AM so that he'd get settled and sleep. Also don't forget "blanket" or whatever lovey your child uses to signal it's time for sleep. (remember Owen is not an "on the go" sleeper. He doesn't sleep on us at all at this point and is pretty dependent on his routine and his crib to sleep.
• bring new toys they've never seen before. We got some "invisible markers" and Crayola Color Wonder paper. Owen thought the markers were fun to open and close and toss on the floor. Hey, who cares if he didn't draw? It bought us 30 minutes.
• bring books that take a long time to read. I brought Richard Scarry's Best Word Book Ever. It takes FOREVER to go through every page and name all the stuff. Owen loves it. We also brought some new books and those captivated him.
• videos? We brought videos like construction trucks videos and Thomas the train videos, but Owen isn't into TV or videos yet so that was a bust.
• come up with some fun games - like peek-a-boo or hiding the truck, or dumping "trash" from the truck.
• buy the kid a real plane seat - in retrospect, I would've gotten him a plane seat and set up his car seat in there and I bet he would've slept 2-3 hours on the plane with all that white noise. I'm serious. It's worth it. Get your parents to chip in if they want to see their grandkids.
• bring the child and yourself a backup outfit on board and a plastic bag. Last leg of the flight and Owen threw-up warm milk and pizza all over Matt about 5 minutes before we landed. Matt had to walk off the plane without a shirt on and Owen in his diaper. We got some looks. Better him than me. Also when Owen was 5 months he pooped something fierce and blew out his diaper, outfit and it was just nasty. I was glad I had a change of clothes and zip lock bag.
• split the difference between the time zone change the first night and get a full nights rest the night prior to the trip. We got to Charlotte, NC at 5PM EST and 2PM our time. We kept him up until 8:45-9PM EST 6PM our time and he slept 12 hours. His usual bedtime is 7:30PM. The next day we switched to regular nap schedule and regular bedtime. We did his normal routine when we could or he would nap in his car seat if we were not at home for his nap. He did REALLY well and slept through the night almost every night in his pack n' play and took naps very well --EVEN at three different locations over 10 days. BIG difference between 5 months, 9 months (VW trip from hell) and now at 17 months. As a general rule I've read that if the child sleeps well at home, they will sleep well on vacation once they've adjusted. Owen did. :) THANK GOD.
• bring the drugs, if you must (we did not) but Dr. Ron told me to try out Benadryl on Owen prior to the trip because it can make some kids HYPER.

As a side note, holding him to sleep and then laying him on our laps during the flight was challenging (not to mention uncomfortable, hard to eat lunch, and hotter than hell) especially considering the absolutely bitchy (sorry) flight attendant we had who got on the speaker while standing about 3 feet from me and made the announcement **with no one else up except me walking in the aisle**

"women with children should not be up in the aisle walking with their children. The captain has the seatbelt sign on"

I promptly told her, "I don't really care about the seatbelt sign right now, and if we want a happy non-screaming toddler, I'll walk him to sleep, thanks."

It wasn't even turbulent. She was just power-tripping. "And your pregnant," she added. I could've ripped the microphone from her. Obviously that woman had never had children on a plane.

Photos from this trip to follow in another photo post soon.

Baby Bike Trailer and car seat: Chariot vs. Burley

Owen is 16 weeks (3.5 months) and so alert and happy! We got a Burley bike trailer (it also becomes a ski trailer and baby jogger) a little premature, but we are so excited to get on the bikes, we couldn't help ourselves. We picked Burley over the Chariot trailer because we could buy locally from Bike Trailer Shop.com --located in Flagstaff, not to mention Chariot is a serious investment. Chariot is having a busy season and are tough to get a hold of. Burley just added the "We Ski Kit" which will allow us to cross country ski with Owen (Mom will pull on flats) which is initally why we wanted the Chariot, which boasts a ski adapter as well.

We don't plan on toting Owen on roads, or bumpy trails (yet) but Flagstaff has some really nice paved Urban trails that will be fun to ride on. Owen has extremely great head control (benefit to sleeping on belly) and loves to get outdoors (ah a child after my own heart). We have considered putting his car seat into the baby trailer and securing it down but haven't figured that out, until then, we are using the Burley snuggly which holds him in there quite nicely. Bike trailers have a "universal joint" so you can lay the bike down or crash yourself without the trailer flipping. Now, I'm sure you can flip a baby bike trailer if you are going fast and furious and hit a curb or something but we'll save that for our mountain bike rides without the dude or the trailer. Right now, it's just fun to transport the dude short distances on back roads powered by Mom, who can stand to lose about 5-10 more pounds. With gas prices on their way up, we are proud to be cyclists and will have a lot of fun in the coming years living in a small town that supports our decision to commute by bicycle. We hope to teach our child the value of alternative transportation when he's old enough to understand AND we cross our fingers that Owen will love biking as much as we do!

the dude would crawl if he could figure out the legs thing...

the dude asleep in the trailer

Mom pulling the rig...

gDiapers : environmentally friendly diapers

Okay so on my personal quest to find the best diaper solution for my child... I've tried a lot (even Pampers the first week-- even though they are OUT of the question). My favorite solution so far is gDiapers. Why? Well most Americans are spending lots of CASH o-la on disposable diapers, why not invest in a few 'little g' diaper covers and call it a day? PLUS... you are doing great things for our environment. These diapers are flushable and ACTUALLY compost-able. I really like them, they are cute, they seem to fit Owen comfortably and they work well. Right now I just have a starter kit but am planning to have a bigger supply when he sizes up to medium.

Check out this amazing segment on Good Morning America about
Americans' huge human footprint (gDiapers included in the tips to
reduce one's footprint!) Elizabeth Vargas, from "20/20" and "National
Geographic", shows the impact of 18 billion disposable diapers with
fantastic visuals here:

Watch the story Friday on "20/20" at 10 p.m. ET. You can also see the
premiere of the "Human Footprint" on the National Geographic Channel
Sunday, April 13th. And if you have any free time after the bub's go
to bed, you must visit their interactive site to view the data and
awesome animation. Very impressive and definitely thought provoking.

To Colic or not to Colic? Sleep Lady Has Solution

So I had a choice: come to terms with the fact that my child had colic and isn't the 'dream' baby I desire or "fix it" and deem him free of the dreaded term and guilty of something else. If you know me, I like to experiment with everything and Owen is the ultimate little test tube (in a good way) and I was determined to solve this fussy problem. I should mention that Matt and I are sleep junkies and we are fairly resolute that our child will be a sleeper.

Week 4: I determined he didn't have a dairy sensitivity by quitting dairy for 2 weeks and then reintroducing it without any problems. Darn... it's not dairy so why does he cry so much? Yes, yes, I know all babies cry, but my little Owen seems to WAIL at just about anything (including fun stuff like breastfeeding) and it takes special tactics to get him to stop. In other words, this seasoned babysitter and my own father (thrice a grandparent) cannot calm him by 'normal' tactics. It takes a bit more energy including the "milkshake" (see post about Dr. Karp), the bathroom fan, singing, jiggling and just the right pat on the back. Oh, you say, my child is just like this, maybe, MAYBE but my instincts tell me something else is wrong.

Week 5: As a self-help junkie, I begin reading a book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby by Marc Weissbluth (quick review: too many percentages and 'research talk' for this visual learner--get to the point and tell me how to get my kid to sleep, Dr. Weissbluth). I did learned one important lesson: babies and kids need more sleep than our modern society likes to admit and DO NOT let them get overtired or overstimulated. My little guy needs between 15-18 hours PER DAY (including nights) and can only be awake for about one hour (including breastfeeding). I also dove into the book Good Night Sleep Tight by Kim West, the Sleep Lady (thanks for the tip, Karla, my sister-in-law). Both have been great resources but the West book is my favorite. I HIGHLY recommend this book to all parents as she has a "plan" to follow from the newborn stage to 5 years so you can GENTLY have your baby sleeping like a baby. West also offers phone consultations including Q&A packages that include follow up coaching phone calls for those of you with sleep problems. Her fees can be as affordable as $20.00 (recorded version) or as much as $450.00 (8 call package) I'm sure most families with bad sleep problems would pay $450 to get some sleep.

Get to the point, Cameron... I ascertained that despite my best efforts Owen wasn't sleeping enough but it wasn't for lack of trying. The little dude just fights his naps and sleep opportunities at every encounter. This results in an overtired, hard-to-console baby but not a colicky baby. You spend all this effort getting him to sleep and next thing you know he's coming up on his next hungry cycle.

I also consulted the Sears Baby Book, which, of course, mentions that some babies just need to be held all the time and comforted constantly and that we Americans try to schedule too much into our lives instead of paying attention to what's important: our child's sleep. Sears prescribes 3 hours or more of sling time and co-sleeping. Much to my chagrin, Owen and I have been doing a fair amount of sleeping next to one another at night but I have been reluctantly to initiate this full time because I do not want to co-sleep with my child for the next 5 years (if you do, more power to you). I'm okay with this first three to four months if it's what Owen NEEDS but not after it's just what he WANTS. West calls this conundrum "reactive co-sleeping" or co-sleeping when it's not your choice to do so (side note, I really like how West doesn't BASH co-sleeping but rather supports your choice be it bassinet, crib or bed). West also talks about sleep crutches or negative associations with sleep: nursing, rocking, binkies, bottles, etc.

The real key is to teach your child the SKILL of falling asleep on his own, which according to West, is every parent's responsibility. Big hint: put your child down drowsy but awake-- this is the goal.

Both Weissbluth and West agree for the first 3 months (more or less) allow your baby to sleep she requires in whatever format she wants ie: swings, slings, co-sleeping, car rides, white noise, nursing (to a point). So combining the best advice of all the experts, I decided to sleep with him full time at night, nursing him when he wakes, and put him in his beloved Moby Wrap or sleep next to him in our bed during the day for naps.

THE RESULTS???
Week 5/6: Owen sleeps from 10-2AM with a brief nursing interlude at midnight! He proceeded to sleep for 2 hours after each time he woke up and then the next day slept great including a 2 hour and 45 minute nap in the afternoon. This occurred for the next night and day as well and again on the third night. What a different baby! What a different Mommy! With more sleep he wakes up happier, more alert and is more likely to sleep (seems obvious but 17 hours of sleep is a challenge). He is also more attached to me at the moment... eh hum, which is to be expected. Weissbluth was right, sleep begets sleep. Crying begets crying.

Conclusion: I've concluded that Owen doesn't have colic, he's just a sleepyhead who fights the thing he needs most. A paradox indeed. He cannot be awake for more than about 1 hour at a time (including his nursing) during the day-- even if he looks so cute and playful--it's ancient baby secret-- he's really tired. If he skips his nap or only sleeps less than an hour, I start over beginning with nursing and allowing him to be up for an hour and then put him down, usually for 2 hours. Yesterday we slept 3 hours in the afternoon together. I plan on making a gentle transition to the crib with a sweet but consistent Sleep Lady strategy. All experts agree sleep scheduling or sleep training should not happen before 3-4 months. Babies simply are not mature enough to "cry it out" or figure out their circadian rhythms. To find out more, read the Sleep Lady book. Have I mentioned the SLEEP LADY?? I think you get the idea.

Loving Hands, Calm Minds and Sleeping Babies

I just read the book (it takes about an hour to read it) Loving Hands: The Traditional Art of Baby Massage by Frederick Leboyer. The concept of baby massage is that it will help soothe the baby and release any tension in the baby's body and of course that it will be a good bonding time for mother and child--keeping them connected as a unit. I'm sure Daddy could do it as well. I used this technique before bed last night and I thought I'd try to do it regularly each week or as often as possible. The book notes that baby massage should start around the age of 4 week and Owen is 4 weeks this weekend, we are going to try to get into this routine.

Right at this moment our child is swaddled up sleeping in his swing listening to our "Sounds from the Womb" record from the late 70's. This is after I vacuumed the carpet to put him into a calm state. We got these great ideas from reading (and watching the video) The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp. This book has been an enormous help (Thank you Jenni for giving it to me) In fact, I think all new parents should check out Dr. Karp's five S's outlined in his book. They are: 1) swaddling 2) side-lying position 3)shhh's 4)swinging and 5) sucking. Karp claims (as many professionals have hypothesized) that the first three months of a newborn's life should really be considered the 4th trimester. In other words, your baby is really still a fetus and needs to have the "comforts of home" which is where the five S's come in handy. The swaddling helps make them feel tight and secured like they were in your womb, the side lying position is just more comfortable and offers a natural calming reflex than their back (back is still safer for sleeping), the shhhhh sound is similar to what they heard in the womb, which happens to be as loud as a vacuum cleaner or hair dryer (Owen loves both noises), swinging imitates the constant motion they felt for 40 weeks and sucking is a natural calming reflex, like the icing on the cake. Swaddling alone doesn't help Owen relax, he has to have about 3 of the S's to really calm down, his favorite being white noise which stops his crying immediately. We have him sleep with a constant white noise machine that makes a hissing sound (supposed to be rain) and I think it helps Matt and Kaibee sleep better too! The first couple of weeks it seems like Owen cried a lot each time he was awake and I wanted to soothe him but it seemed like nothing worked. The reality is most newborns cry often. All they are capable of is pooping, crying and sucking. It isn't until three months that they even have control of their hands and legs... so for all practical purposes I treat Owen as if he's still inside me-- he needs a lot of holding, nursing, cuddling and calming. The techniques we learned from Dr. Karp's book and his video work like a charm-- REALLY. Additionally, it was important to burp him vigorously and he enjoys the pat, pat, thump thump style on his back as a calming method. Owen sleeps 3-4 hours in his bassinet the first time I put him down, I nurse him, burp him, change him then he sleeps 2-3 hours with me each additional time I put him down until morning arrives. When he seems really relaxed, I can put him back into the bassinet. Since I can nurse in the side-lying position with him, it's easy to take him to bed with me. If he's sleeping with me, I just dress him in a onsie but if he's sleeping in the bassinet I usually swaddle him. As with any advice, you must take it with a grain of salt. I don't like to swaddle Owen each time he goes to sleep, I prefer to wear him in either his Moby Wrap , sling, or put him in his bassinet without being swaddled. I guess I don't want him to get used to any one thing too much. Flexibility is key!!

Cloth diapers: a brief (HA HA) manifesto

I haven't posted here in so long; I've just been enjoying reading about Cameron's amazing journey. Let's all give the lady a hand, hear hear! (Clap, clap, clap, etc.)

OK, let's talk about cloth diapers.

Science will tell you that cloth diapers are better than disposable for the environment. This is a fact; look it up. If you find research to the contrary, keep in mind that it was, with absolute certainty, funded by diaper-making companies. This is also a fact.

Now, I know this, and yet I myself have used (and still do, sometimes) disposable diapers. No one is perfect. And the kind of diapers you use has nothing to do with whether you are an excellent mother. But if you are interested in cloth diapering, I thought I’d share what I’ve found out through personal experience (especially since a few people have been asking me cloth diapering advice lately).

Fending off the well-intentioned
I’ve heard a lot of stories from other mamas and friends of mamas about well-meaning family members trying to dissuade them from using cloth diapers. It makes sense when you think about it: everyone wants a new mom to be well-rested (HA HA HA) and happy (HO HO HO), so they encourage her to keep things easy, uncomplicated. Something these folks might not realize is that cloth diapering is a totally different story from the days of our mothers and grandmothers—or even diapering moms 10 years ago. It’s positively easy these days. The level of ease varies depending on what kind of diapers you use (keep reading!), but all in all, it’s not so hard when you get the hang of it.

A rainbow of butt coverings
If you get into cloth diapering to save money (as I did), stick with the basics: cotton pre-folds and covers. Pins aren’t necessary any more with the invention of the blessed Snappi; and that might not even be necessary with certain snap-on/Velcro covers (as opposed to pull-up covers; think underwear, more or less).

If you have a bit more dough and are primarily interested with ease, consider pocket diapers (with removable inserts, such as Fuzzi-Bunz) or all-in-ones (just what it sounds like – no inserts, just one solid piece of diaper, such as bumGenius).

Personally, I scored a small army of Fuzzi-Bunz second-hand, which is a great way to ease into cloth-diapering. But (maybe because they were second-hand), Tommy would get more rashes with them, and so I generally stick to pre-folds. For covers, I’ve both inherited and hand-knit a few pull-on covers (sometimes called “soakers”) that I use with a Snappi. I also use Bummis Super Whisper Wraps, no Snappi needed. (Don’t you love those brand names?)

What about poop?
Ah, yes indeed, what about it. Well, my friends, once babies start eating solids, their poop correspondingly gets solid. Shake that mess in the toilet, man. I keep a small bucket next to the changing table to facilitate trips to the bathroom. Easy-peasy.

Washing
If money is no object, consider a diaper service near you. The one where I live supplies diapers (but not covers) and a handy diaper pail (for, like, $12 extra or something). It’s so easy: once a week, you leave the dirty diaper pail outside near your door, they come by and empty it and leave a pack of clean diapers. The price is comparable to buying name-brand disposables.

I choose to wash diapers at home, again to save money. It is not nearly as gross as you think. I use Charlie’s Soap for this (and for all of our laundry – super cheap when you work out how many loads you get from one bag). The diapers pre-soak in cold water, go through a hot/cold cycle, and then an extra rinse. Some people add baking soda and/or vinegar for extra freshness (or to get rid of yeast); recipes and methods abound online.

I happen to live in an area that’s been hit with a historic drought. We save water like insane people preparing for the apocalypse otherwise, but that does bring me to…

Drought: A word on composting and E.C.
I’ve tried and enjoyed gDiapers, which are basically cloth covers with a plastic liner, in which you snap inserts that can be flushed or composted (the ones that aren’t poopy, and don’t have diaper ointment on them). They’re too expensive for us to use them regularly, but the upside is I use those cloth covers constantly with regular cotton pre-folds.

I’ve never had the gumption to try Elimination Communication, which involves no diapers at all – but I personally know women in real life who use and swear by this method.

My own experience
To be honest, I hated cloth diapers at first. I just didn’t get it, and part of it was my hang-up in those early days of parenting that there was a Right Way to do things and a Wrong Way. I couldn’t figure out how to fold the diapers the Right Way or use the covers the Right Way. Later I realized that there is no Right Way or Wrong Way, just Your Way. I have since come up with various ways of folding and snapping that suit our needs well. Learn to embrace deviation and invention, if you can. That might be the hardest part of all.

We still use disposables, as I mentioned — Tommy seems prone to eczema and other rashy episodes, so putting them on at night and while traveling really helps. There are days where we use only cloth diapers, and days where I go through far too many disposables. I figure that anything we can do to reduce waste is helpful, and the goal is to do your best.

Bradley Method Classes | premature review

Okay, so after 10 Bradley classes, I feel qualified to comment on them. If you hope to accomplish natural childbirth, I do recommend the Bradley Method; however, be prepared to consume some protein, keep a food journal weekly, attend a THREE HOUR class for TWELVE WEEKS, watch birth movies, and practice your labor relaxation techniques. I do believe we are very well educated at this point and most importantly Matt, my husband, is prepared. He has NOT read the baby books (previous post)--actually he's been consuming an unhealthy amount of Harry Potter (AKA all 7 since late Oct). Most comforting to me is that Matt will NOT look like a deer caught in headlights with any stage of my labor and he's fully prepared to be my loving coach and spokesperson throughout my labor. He's even planning to "catch the baby," as they say. He's educated and he knows what to expect thanks to our great Bradley teacher, Heidi. This confidence is truly important if you want success with natural childbirth! I know it's going to involve pain and it's HOW you both react to that pain which will be key (or so I think now). Bradley Method teaches and emphasizes RELAXING during contractions and allowing your body to do the work it needs to do to move that baby out into the world. It's truly a miracle of life, one which Matt and I are prepared for, one way or the other. We are pre-registered at the hospital but we are truly OVERJOYED to have the opportunity to give birth at home. If we have to go to the hospital it will be a necessity and I welcome their medical expertise in that case. Being at home will allow us to truly be ourselves in our own environment, relaxing and taking our time without the hustle and bustle of when to get in the car, a busy hospital floor with strangers. Additionally, we won't have to "fight" the system to have the type of non-intervention birth we desire (that having been said, we are flexible and know that it might not go perfectly as little does in real life). I will love to read this post after I deliver this child. It will be interesting. Next up is cloth diapers: my personal journey towards less landfill trash...


P.S. I'm 36 weeks and have gained 39 pounds. The midwives came for a home visit and estimated the baby to be at 6.5 pounds. She thinks we could have a 7 or 8 pounder!! She said everything looks great, feels great and my blood pressure is spectacular. It was a glowing review, which I'm happy about. She said to lay off the ice cream if I didn't want an 8 pounder.

The New Well Pregnancy Book | My review

Okay folks, I've read a lot of pregnancy/baby literature, including What to Expect When you are Expecting (dry, confusing, not well organized), Husband Coached Childbirth (informative but biased heavily on the Bradley Method), Natural Childbirth- The Bradley Way (very informative, good images, also biased toward Bradley Method), The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (La Leche League nazis, informative yet attachment parent-biased), The No Cry Sleep Solution (written by a mom, good info, attachment parenting biased -- good for GENTLE and sensitive sleep method) and On Becoming Baby Wise (I like many ideas in this book: take with a grain of salt, they can be harsh as well) but my FAVORITE "pregnancy bible" book is called
The New Well Pregnancy Book (revised edition). This book has a wealth of knowledge from cultural views, to anatomy to labor and postpartum. Plus it's BALANCED writing: meaning they don't bash midwives and they don't bash hospitals. They present the information factually and honestly in an easy-to-read format that I refer to ALL THE TIME. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in a bible of pregnancy. I encourage you to read the biased books as well (even the attachment parenting Sears one, if you dare) but it's nice to read something that doesn't BASH other methods. If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't bother with the What to Expect book. I hear their baby book is good, but the pregnancy book is just riddled with bad news, and random things that could go wrong, and I don't like the organization of it all.

P.S. in defense of Sears, I do have his baby book, which I hear is a good reference tool. More on that later. I haven't read for pleasure since I got pregnant. Currently reading a reference guide of vaccines... more on that.

small change | consignment in Phoenix, AZ

Hello BARGAIN CITY!! I found this great crib (Thanks Gram Sarah), changing table and bookshelf for STEAL at this great consignment shop in Phoenix called "Small Change." I will proceed to do all my shopping there. It's in Paradise Valley where very wealthy folks drop off their very nice very lightly used baby gear AND clothes GALORE (some with the tags on). So I got this hand-painted crib there. Look how cute? Green and yellow (ha, which means we don't have to paint the room) and little doggies and duckies and turtles and pigs... I love it!! Matt can match these little characters on the wall. He is going to paint the ceiling blue with white clouds. So our baby room colors are officially light yellow, light green and other pastels that match. HUGE THANKS to Hollye and Eric (AND Sally Schumacher) who helped me find the store and moved the crib to their garage until I can find a vehicle to pick it up with.