this and that

*GASP*
That is me finally coming up for air. Harper is 19 months and Owen is 3 years old and some change and I will finally get back to this blog. Admittedly my new iMac keyboard and new iMac are also making me feel the blogging love tonight at 11:41PM .

Guess what people? I've got two kids and they sleep through the night. Let the angels rejoice. I can stay up late and not have to pay the price, I can wake up and teach 5:45AM spinning... but don't give me any medals yet... Harper is still waking once or twice a week at like 3-4AM and saying "Dah-EE or mama." We go in there tell her it's "night night" and reassure her (without touching in theory) and she goes back to sleep. Seriously annoying but hey, I'll take it. I figure at SOME point it will be a month without interruptions.

Maybe I'll just do a stream of conscientiousness post... that's how my brain works anyway.

Harper: Harper is at just about the cutest age ever! I love a year and a half! She is definitely going through a "mama" stage and is feeling some separation anxiety. I SORTA, feel it could be related to our 8 night Costa Rica trip without the kids back in April (was that already 2 months ago)? She is a little more concerned now when I grab my purse and walk to work. HOWEVER, I won't let myself think that because Matt and I had a great time and I would do it again for our marriage and my own personal sanity. To summarize, we went to Costa Rica in April without the kids. We rediscovered ourselves and each other. It was awesome and I got a bonus tan. Grammie and Pop stayed at our house and Tia Kate helped out from time to time. It was glorious. Planning next year's adventure already. I'm thinking of a mountain bike tour next year...or maybe a trip up California's coast... we'll see. Ah yes, back to Harper, her receptive language is amazing...she basically understands everything you say and is just now trying out her words. She says "mama" and "Dah-EE" "OH-wee" (Owen), "Goo" (water). If you ask her how to say water she replies, "Goo." KAI (Kaibee), Dah (dog), AH-side (outside), BA (blankie), Ba-ee (bike), Ah choo, off, on, up, down, Yeah, Ok, a-right (alright), a-SPY-ER (spider), BAh (ball), moon, STA (stars), ouch, hur (hurt), no, no no, more, KA-ker (cracker), a-mee (vitamin), bye, hi, night night. I mustn't forget her two word sentence: "Oh-wee kai-een" (Owen's crying-- happens a lot). She roars like a lion, makes the cutest lamb noise you ever have heard, pants like a dog, meows like a cat. Lately she is obsessed with spiders and makes the cutest "spider" hand gesture when she says the word. She is almost always happy except when you take her bike away from her, then she is pissed. She LOVES her bike. She has a strider bike without pedals and she steers it and sits on the saddle. She wants to do whatever Owen is doing and she lives for when he wakes up from his nap. She barges into his room with authority and says, "Hi, oh Wee." She is strong as hell and is going to be a force to be reckoned with in any athletic endeavor she decided to embrace. We call her our little scrum half. Kate and Norm call her Cobra because she is so fast!

Owen is adjusted to attending Montessori school--finally. He loved the first day and then kept coming home saying, "they don't have any trucks at school," meaning of course, his beloved matchbox cars. Owen talks and talks and talks and talks. Boy could talk himself silly. He knows the names and brands of cars often. Example: "Mommy check out that Subaru." He can spot a VW a mile away. He's been talking a lot about the Concord and how it files at mach II, the speed of sound, Mommy. It's in a book. He gets that from Kate. Mr.-Know-it-all is coming our way. He enjoys his shows on Netflix: Madeline, Bob the Builder, Kipper, Wonder Pets, Backyardagins. We allow him 20minutes or 1 hour of shows over the day. Some days he doesn't watch anything at all but he definitely likes to curl up with Mommy's iPad and kick back on the potty with an episode of Dora. He's 150% potty trained. He sleeps in his undies and never has accidents. He has got to be dehydrated. Kid hardly drinks fluids...in fact, kid hardly eats food. He eats JUST enough to get by until the next 100 calorie snack. It drives me crazy but I've given up for now. He's a good sleeper, maybe I can train him to eat well as he gets older.

I will post some photos soon. How awful. A photographer who hasn't updated her baby blog with photos of the babies... and I have some really cute ones!

I will finally, FINALLY have storage for all my personal photos of the kids and a computer on which to edit and catalog them. Yippie! So that will help the documentary cause.

Harper 8.5 months Owen 28 months - notes

So I thought I'd just do a quick stream of conscientiousness post about where the kids are with all their "stuff"
Harper is 8.5 months and is crawling, pulling up to stand and sleeping fairly well. She gets up usually only once in the middle of the night, nurses and goes right back to sleep. Occasionally she'll get up one other time and then sometimes get into a bad habit of waking 2-3 times. Recently that happened and she was waking at 11PM, 1AM and 4AM. One night we let her cry herself back to sleep during the 4A wake up (with Mommy at her side for part of the time) but it took her 1.5 hours and she didn't want to be held and I didn't nurse her (I wanted to wait until at least 6AM) and then the next night she was back to waking only once. I love holding sweet Harper when she has just fallen asleep and puts her thumb in her mouth and is on my chest right before I lay her in her crib. It's a very sweet bonding time for us and I know it doesn't last forever. She isn't really into reading stories yet but we've begun trying to read her some before bed from time to tome. She still just wants to put everything in her mouth and eat the books. She has two bottom teeth but that's all and she loves to eat in general. If you leave her alone for two seconds, she'll have a hairball and a bark chip (from the plants) in her mouth. She moves it around in her mouth and spits it out. She is such a sweet baby that I am NOT looking forward to her growing up like I did with Owen. She is at that quintessential baby age where they love rattles, laugh and explore everything. She goes to bed around 7PM and wakes up between 6-7AM and if she is up early, one of us gets up and walks down to the coffee shop while the other one sleeps in. Owen wakes up around 7AM.

Owen: is 28 months (2yrs) and talks and talks and talks. He frequently has 7-9 word sentences and is beginning to tell us how he feels. We are unsure if he really means it or if he's just repeating some memorized phrase but he'll say things like, "Daddy, I don't feel so good." and "I'm not hungry." He had been telling us when he has to poop with more regularity first beginning with "My stomach hurts" and then progressing to actually telling Matt he has to go potty or poop, which is great. Now if he could just recognize the signals for peeing!! He is pooping on the potty very well now but doesn't care about being soaking wet and will wet his "big boy" pants if we put them on him and he doesn't care about being wet. We try about every two months with the big boy underpants to see if he can keep them dry but he's too busy to stop and pee. I'm not pushing it and I'm just glad he doesn't poop in his pants anymore. GROSS! Owen sleeps from 1PM-4PM and often we have to wake him up around 4PM or he doesn't want to go to bed. He goes down around 8PM but could stay up later and often talks to himself in the crib for an hour in the pitch black darkness. He loves the movie Cars and has a lot of the die cast cars -- his favorites at the moment are "Gill" his green 18-wheeler. He has watched the whole movie cars many times at home and has begun to enjoy watching "shows" or TV. We only let him watch actual TV for 30 minutes a day if at all because Mommy hates the commercials. He likes Max and Ruby, Little Bear, Go Diego Go, Dora and some others but we really don't watch a lot of TV. I use it sometimes if I have to go upstairs to put Harper down and it buys me some "safe" time with him sitting mesmerized on the couch. He's a little scared of the scene in Cars where Mater and Lighting McQueen go "tractor tipping." He has had a great summer home with Matt and gotten lots of Daddy time. I dread Matt going back to work but the consistency and schedule are nice. Right now every day is different and that's hard to get used to. He's gotten more into "hiking" and we've taken him to the trail on various occasions and he loves to walk and walk and walk. He's definitely into walking more vs. riding in the stroller but he gets "tired" and then you end up carrying him home.

Owen gets a haircut and Harper likes a bath!

It's hard to cut your boy's hair. At least for me. I just loved it long and shaggy but it was getting TOO long and I kept meaning to make an appointment at the real hair salon to get some cute "California surfer" cut for Owen. Alas, the 10 minute Barber shop walk-in was too easy. He is crinkling his nose because some little hairs were getting in his face. He kept wanting to bring his hand to his face... anyway, so cute. Harper is 4 months in March and loves to take a bath with Owen and Daddy. She is the sweetest easiest baby minus the part about how she doesn't take a bottle, but HEY, perfection is a lofty goal.

Here are some photos of Owen and Harper in March 2010.

Words, speach and my favorite age: HINT NOT NEWBORNS

So, admittedly, I'm not a "newborn" type of gal.

"What?"

Yup, you got it. I really don't like newborns. Not even my own. We'll see about #2, s/he could surprise me and be some angel baby who sleeps and doesn't cry and takes a bottle and likes his/her car seat, and can be toted to restaurants and grocery stores-- BUT even still... NEWBORNS. EEEKS! Let's just put it this way, I wasn't one of those "Love at first sight" ladies. I just didn't. I was too busy being happy it was over-- the pregnancy, the delivery, the fat thighs. I mean of course you *love* them but I was more like, okay kid, start growing, let's get this show on the road.

16 months--this age, I can dig. I just love cute little Owen right now. He is technically 16.5 months now. He is just so expressive and fun and learning so much every day. Just this week he started to talk more than just the first syllables of words. He has a few distinct words that even the mailman can understand.

I'm going to catalog this stuff now because I will forget later.

"Oh no" being his real first word. He expresses this when things fall on the floor, he repeats it if you say it or if he is disappointed.
"mama" -- personal favorites, of course
"DaDa and Daddy"
"garbage" -- he finally got it. He loves garbage trucks and now when he wakes up it's all about talking about garbage.
"baby" -- what can I say? He loves books with babies in them and babies in real life, he'll even get one of his own soon.

He also somehow learned animal sounds (I guess he listens when we read stories) and he knows what they are when you ask him "Owen, what does the ____ say." He knows:
cat
dog
rooster
owl
lion (hilarious ROAR)
horse
pig
train
fire truck
cow
bird
duck
donkey (this one is equally hilarious: HEE HAW

He is working on new words everyday. "BEE" is currently our dog: Kaibee. I MUST get some video of his animal sounds. It's so dang cute.

Sleep update 16.5 months: A week ago we moved his bedtime to 7:30PM because he was talking to himself from 7PM-7:45 for about a week and getting fussy in the crib. It was time. He sleeps from 7:30PM until 6:00-7:15AM everyday. He hasn't been bothered by the 6 teeth he has coming in over the last 6-8 weeks. He only has 2 lower teeth to go. All molars are in, and he's chomping away (although still refuses meat). He naps from noon-2PM every day, several times a week he sleeps until 3:00-3:15. I love the afternoon nap. Mommy gets one too. I am 5.5 months pregnant now, but who has time to think about me?

Leaving a nursing 12 month old baby for 5 nights

I had a wedding job in New York City a couple of weeks ago (I live in Arizona). It was a very cool wedding-- on a Broadway stage-- see the images here.

I have been stressed about leaving Owen for approximately the past 3 months. Basically when I booked the job, I was naive and thought, "oh at 12 months, I can go anywhere and we'll just bring Owen anyway." We learned between that time and the time I booked my plane ticket that traveling with an infant, is challenging at best and probably not a great idea when he wasn't sleeping through the night (at the time we booked the ticket, he was still waking 2-3 times, now he sleeps uninterrupted).

I think every Mother should run this drill:

GO AWAY overnight as soon as you can.

Even if your baby is nursing.

They will survive.

Even if it's just for one night.

You can do it.

It's great mental exercise for yourself, and really lets you know that your baby will be fine without you. I'm not saying it wasn't hard. Getting on a plane was the hardest part but I firmly believe had I not done this now it would've been YEARS before I left him for the fear that he would not be okay without me or that something would happen and the baby would NEED me. I know that sounds irrational even as I write it but in my head it was a real fear that needed to be addressed.

We all have to face our fears at some point.

I know for a fact that many mothers wait YEARS to leave their children and the less you leave them, the harder it is.

Obviously, you want to leave your baby with family or a close friend whom knows the schedule and your baby. Luckily, I have the best husband on earth whom cares for our son all the time for 12-hour stretches while I shoot weddings on Saturdays, which is also great. If you cannot go overnight YET, mentally or for whatever excuse you make, then, go do something ALL DAY, really, it will be fine. Now, there is no way in hell I could've left this child when he was 3 months, 6 months or even 7 months for an overnight period. He simply didn't drink from a bottle and wouldn't get enough liquids without me present to nurse. Dehydration was a big concern during that stage, but around 9-12 months he started really drinking well from the sippy cup (NEVER breastmilk --- he wouldn't touch it outside of a breast -- only formula in a sippy cup).

Bottom line is I DID IT. It WAS NOT easy for several reasons:
1) my milk supply ran really low while I was gone... since I only breastfeed and never pump, my breasts don't make a lot of milk without the baby around and don't respond well to pumping. For example, I was only getting an ounce or so each time I would pump, twice a day, which worried me since I am fairly dedicated to nursing until the baby quits it himself. It made me think I would lose my supply before I got back, which makes one anxious to get back.
2) 5 nights is too long at 12 months, or at least it was for me. I think 3 nights would've been perfect, but by day 4 I was ready to be home.
3) I was going such a long distance it made it extra stressful since if something happened, it would be 12 hours home and I couldn't leave until AFTER the wedding.

On the other hand, it WAS easy for these reasons
1) I was working, so I had a purpose and didn't have much free "mommy" time to think about the baby
2) I knew Matt was taking care of Owen very well and they were getting some great quality time together.
3) Owen was sleeping through the night every night and drinking plenty of cow's milk (we started 2 weeks before the trip) and very hydrated.
4) I left him overnight for about 40 hours to go to a conference 2 hours away. See blog post on that topic here.

When I returned home, my milk supply came back to normal and the baby nursed on his normal schedule. All was well. I did it and now I can't wait to plan a trip with my husband in the fall sometime when Owen will be 18 months. I'm sure it will be equally as hard to leave then, but now I know he'll be fine and that makes all the difference in the world... a little confidence goes a long way. It's so exciting to think of the places we can go as a family but even more excited to get away with Matt.

I am a firm believer that once you have children you have to really actively nurture your marriage. A strong marriage will provide a good example for your children throughout their life and it makes for a happy household. Scheduling a babysitter for some "couple time" is a MUST. Getting away together for dates, playtime and overnight trips if you can. Start small, dream big.

Today Matt and I went on our first mountain bike ride together (something we used to do 3-4 times a week in the summers) in 18 months. It was REALLY fun. I look forward to laying on a beach somewhere with him knowing our child is fine at home.

BABY SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT

Alert the Media! Owen, my little night waker, slept through the night TWICE this week. This is a miracle. 

Let me preface this story with this thought.  Every single night I think to myself, "self, tonight could be the night that Owen sleeps through the night."  This has been my last thought before bed since, um, maybe July 2008. 

Here's how it went down: 

me: **OMG, it's 4AM and Owen hasn't nursed or stirred yet**

(rustle, flip over, try not to think about a my baby not breathing in his crib)

me: **AHH that thought is too horrible, must wake up husband**

me: "Matt, Owen is still asleep" 

Matt: ereughhh? 

me: "and it's 4AM"

Matt: "that's great honey"

me: "should I check on him?"

Matt: "not if you want to keep sleeping"

me: "okay" 

 -- five minutes of forcing my eyes shut later--

me:**thinking thoughts of baby not breathing in crib...

NO NO push those thoughts away... think of fun dreams and sleeping... WAIT, my breasts hurt, Why do my....** 

WAAA? 

me:**crap, my breasts are engorging, great, now I will get a breast infection.... la la la, go to sleep... hold on, I can't get a breast infection NOW after 11 months of nursing... oh no, oh no, continue thinking all types of completely irrational thoughts... 

I get up and get the breast pump, my arch enemy. Pump for 4 minutes, release pressure... 

Matt: "ereerhhh/??"

me: "I had to pump or I was going to get a breast infection" 

Matt: "go back to sleep, honey" 

me: "okay"

Then by some miracle, I fell back asleep and Owen slept until 6:40AM.  That's right 7:40-6:40 BABY!  

NOW WE ARE TALKING and it only took 11.5 months.  I can sense my beauty sleep is just around the corner.... only time will tell.  I wonder if you can guess what my last thought will be before bed tonight? 

Leaving the baby overnight for the first time

I can honestly say if you polled me last year when Owen was born, I would not guess that it would take me 10.5 months to leave my baby overnight. I would've figured some work-related task would take me away from the home for an overnight trip. Owen never took a bottle so it made leaving him at all a challenge--still is. Matt had to actually bring him to me at most weddings (I'm a wedding photographer) until Sept. (7 months). At any rate, a conference came up that I really wanted to attend and it was the perfect opportunity to leave him with Matt. I left Sunday around noon post-nursing and didn't get back until 10PM the next day.

Miracle of all miracles Owen survived without me.

This was an important lesson for my own psychology. He will survive!

I think every mother feels connected to her baby and certainly every nursing mother has a hard time leaving her baby when he still nurses frequently (and doesn't take a bottle). Owen nurses once at 11PM or midnight and again first thing in the morning. These are typically BIG nursing sessions for him, so as you might imagine I was worried he would "lose it" when he woke up and Mommy was not available. Not so much.

He woke a bunch more than usual before 11PM that night but Matt gave him his sippy cup (thank god he sorta likes that thing) around 11:30 and he fell asleep on Matt and he went back into his crib and slept until 5:45 and then napped on Matt until 6:30 or so. Not too bad, actually. I think babies live in the "now" more than we think.

Kudos to my husband for even agreeing to try something like this with our persnickety boy. I THOUGHT he would cry for a couple hours when he woke up and then be up every hour while I was gone... so I was pleased that he was really FINE.

This is encouraging since I have a business trip to NYC in March. The plan is to leave him for three nights.... and I'll be pumping milk in the big apple. Yippie. I now have a tad more confidence in the boy... and in myself and my own sanity. I'm really NOT a neurotic person... honestly, I'm not. Being a Mother is hard.

If you have never left your children overnight... I highly recommend it. I think it really helped me realize an important lesson: they will be fine, especially in qualified hands like my husband. Each time a small milestone is reached: having someone else put him to bed, leaving overnight, leaving all day, I feel a little bit of Cameron returning and I think Owen feels happy too.