Leaving a nursing 12 month old baby for 5 nights

I had a wedding job in New York City a couple of weeks ago (I live in Arizona). It was a very cool wedding-- on a Broadway stage-- see the images here.

I have been stressed about leaving Owen for approximately the past 3 months. Basically when I booked the job, I was naive and thought, "oh at 12 months, I can go anywhere and we'll just bring Owen anyway." We learned between that time and the time I booked my plane ticket that traveling with an infant, is challenging at best and probably not a great idea when he wasn't sleeping through the night (at the time we booked the ticket, he was still waking 2-3 times, now he sleeps uninterrupted).

I think every Mother should run this drill:

GO AWAY overnight as soon as you can.

Even if your baby is nursing.

They will survive.

Even if it's just for one night.

You can do it.

It's great mental exercise for yourself, and really lets you know that your baby will be fine without you. I'm not saying it wasn't hard. Getting on a plane was the hardest part but I firmly believe had I not done this now it would've been YEARS before I left him for the fear that he would not be okay without me or that something would happen and the baby would NEED me. I know that sounds irrational even as I write it but in my head it was a real fear that needed to be addressed.

We all have to face our fears at some point.

I know for a fact that many mothers wait YEARS to leave their children and the less you leave them, the harder it is.

Obviously, you want to leave your baby with family or a close friend whom knows the schedule and your baby. Luckily, I have the best husband on earth whom cares for our son all the time for 12-hour stretches while I shoot weddings on Saturdays, which is also great. If you cannot go overnight YET, mentally or for whatever excuse you make, then, go do something ALL DAY, really, it will be fine. Now, there is no way in hell I could've left this child when he was 3 months, 6 months or even 7 months for an overnight period. He simply didn't drink from a bottle and wouldn't get enough liquids without me present to nurse. Dehydration was a big concern during that stage, but around 9-12 months he started really drinking well from the sippy cup (NEVER breastmilk --- he wouldn't touch it outside of a breast -- only formula in a sippy cup).

Bottom line is I DID IT. It WAS NOT easy for several reasons:
1) my milk supply ran really low while I was gone... since I only breastfeed and never pump, my breasts don't make a lot of milk without the baby around and don't respond well to pumping. For example, I was only getting an ounce or so each time I would pump, twice a day, which worried me since I am fairly dedicated to nursing until the baby quits it himself. It made me think I would lose my supply before I got back, which makes one anxious to get back.
2) 5 nights is too long at 12 months, or at least it was for me. I think 3 nights would've been perfect, but by day 4 I was ready to be home.
3) I was going such a long distance it made it extra stressful since if something happened, it would be 12 hours home and I couldn't leave until AFTER the wedding.

On the other hand, it WAS easy for these reasons
1) I was working, so I had a purpose and didn't have much free "mommy" time to think about the baby
2) I knew Matt was taking care of Owen very well and they were getting some great quality time together.
3) Owen was sleeping through the night every night and drinking plenty of cow's milk (we started 2 weeks before the trip) and very hydrated.
4) I left him overnight for about 40 hours to go to a conference 2 hours away. See blog post on that topic here.

When I returned home, my milk supply came back to normal and the baby nursed on his normal schedule. All was well. I did it and now I can't wait to plan a trip with my husband in the fall sometime when Owen will be 18 months. I'm sure it will be equally as hard to leave then, but now I know he'll be fine and that makes all the difference in the world... a little confidence goes a long way. It's so exciting to think of the places we can go as a family but even more excited to get away with Matt.

I am a firm believer that once you have children you have to really actively nurture your marriage. A strong marriage will provide a good example for your children throughout their life and it makes for a happy household. Scheduling a babysitter for some "couple time" is a MUST. Getting away together for dates, playtime and overnight trips if you can. Start small, dream big.

Today Matt and I went on our first mountain bike ride together (something we used to do 3-4 times a week in the summers) in 18 months. It was REALLY fun. I look forward to laying on a beach somewhere with him knowing our child is fine at home.