Having a full-time photography business and being a full time Mom

I get a lot of comments about how I manage my life. The answer is: day by day. I find that parenting requires an extreme amount of two things I don't have a lot of:

1) patience
2) organization

I still manage...somehow. I think it's because I have an amazing husband and my amazing sister/nanny lives in town.

Here are my top tips to manage having your own business and being a full time Mom {I have a photography business)

• decide how you want your children to be cared for while you are away? There are more options than you think here.
  
• 1. Full time daycare? This just wasn't something I could ever "swallow" and because I have a flexible job, I didn't have to. PHEW. I think that was one of my biggest fears about having kids. I hear that many of my friends kids love it, but for ME, it was always going to difficult mentally to drop them off. Especially if they cried
     
  2. in the home of someone else-- there are lots of options like this where Moms stay home and watch other people's children for fairly inexpensive. Sometimes as low as $3-5/hour. This could've worked when I had one but with two it was a bit challenging with various nap schedules I wanted to keep.
  3. trade days with another Mom. I did this one fall and it worked beautifully except I was pregnant and it made it super hard to take care of someone else's baby if anything went "wrong" ie: child refused nap so she needed a push in stroller or to be worn, or extra attention. Little did I know this was my baptism into having two children.
     
  4. in your own home care/hiring a nanny. This is the option I chose since I only had to work 2.5 days a week. Matt comes home a half day every Friday so this option was awesome. I interviewed a bunch of college students via the site care.com and had great luck, only to have that gal move then learned what questions to ask and got a great nanny who is still with us. My sister does this job 6 months a year (she works seasonally) and I pay her. Bad part with this method: when nanny is sick -- you have to stay home.
     
  5. work from home while baby sleeps. HAHAHHAHA. I thought this could work for me for awhile but honestly when I'm home with a newborn or new baby and they go to sleep, I take a nap too. I did work from home with nanny at home some and found that I just got sucked into holding and loving my babies too much. I definitely needed to be working outside the home if the kids where home
• set a schedule and stick to it. I work Monday-Wednesdays and Fridays and always take Tuesday and Thursday to be with my kids. This REALLY helped me schedule work appointments, get into a weekly groove and it really feels like I spend every other day with them... because I DO!
  
• Support from the husband is critical. Matt can do everything while I'm away. He's very hands on and is super capable of any task with the kids: ie: bedtime, morning breakfast, diapers, making dinner with two kids running around, you get the idea. You work odd hours without great help either from your husband or a great nanny.
  
• Allow your husband to figure out how to watch the kids "his way"-- try not to micromanage him. I have to remind myself of this all the time. At the same time, try to "get on the same page" with your nanny and husband about all the food choice, discipline, etc etc.
• The days you are at home with your kids: play with them. This is the time you've set aside to be with them, don't be trying to squeak out more time to "check email" or make business calls. Make it clear to your clients: I don't work on X and X day. Set limits up or you'll find yourself not really enjoying your time at home with your kids and they will learn that Mommy isn't really paying attention to me and a whole slew of problems can arise from this.
  
• Do personal errands and what not on your "home" days so that the days you are at work you have no personal stuff to take care of and you can really focus on being productive. This means scheduling personal appointments either when your husband is home or bring the kids to the grocery store, doctor, etc.
• I can't "take lunch" with friends or plan any "non work" activities the days I'm working. I have to pack 40-60 hours of work into 30 hours. I bring a lunch and eat at my desk as much as possible.
  
• I take Sunday completely off. I never schedule client appointments on Sunday. Unless it's a wedding, I try to unplug on Sunday.
• On a non-wedding Saturday, I try really hard not to schedule anything. These weekend times with the whole family are really precious, I don't want to bother with a meeting I could have scheduled for Friday and miss flying kites with the kids, etc. There are exceptions to this but not many.
• I schedule client calls at 8PM after the kids are asleep. It's usually a great time for clients to chat too. I will not talk to clients at home with my kids in the background.
  
• keep a great calendar. I use iCal and have it on my iPhone, iPad, home and studio computer. Set alarms, send yourself emails. This really helps because life with kids is managed chaos.
• Get your kids on a great nap schedule... that way when you do have days a home you can still get an hour or two at the computer to catch up when you should be doing housework, of course!
  
• speaking of housework, hire a maid. Best money I spend every month. I.DO.NOT.CLEAN.MY.OWN.HOME. -- EVER. I tidy up, yes, I clean the kitchen nightly, yes. Bathrooms, floors and dusting... nope-- NEVER. This is a luxury service, but frankly I do not have the time nor the inclination to clean my home. It costs me $150/month to have a maid every other week. Bottom line: we don't have cable TV and we don't eat out much and I don't buy fancy coffee drinks. It's priorities, people. Believe me, you can find the money. You cannot get this time back with your kids. If you are a working Mom, you owe it to yourself. There is almost nothing that makes me happier than the day the house is 100% clean top to bottom and I didn't lift a finger.
• Finally you will always feel guilt when you leave your children. When they are in Kindergarten and "supposed" to be at school, I think a weight will be lifted off my shoulders (and my pocketbook). Guilt is just part of being a working Mom. Hopefully these tips will help you get more quality time with your kids, be productive at work and make you a happy Mommy. I know my time at work is not only productive for my business but also for my family. I love my job and I look forward to every Monday, Wednesday and Friday but I also LOVE Tuesday/Thursday. It's a good balance. I hope you can find yours.
  

side note: I realize I'm super lucky to have this type of flexibility, but it's a blessing and a curse. Mostly a blessing but the business has suffered a little since I had the kids-- okay, A LOT. While I love my business, my #1 priority is my family. I can always have a successful business, but I can never get this time back with my kiddos.

My yearly family album

In my professional photography business, I make albums for people using companies that only work with photographers, blah blah, but in my personal world I make albums for myself and my family using Blurb.com -- They even have bookmaking software, which I did end up using for this album. It took me HOURS to do this... as in 30 hours or something -- it's sure was a labor of love!

Clark Family 2010 by Cameron Clark | cameron + kelly studios | Make Your Own Book

Owen's 2nd birthday

I can hardly believe my boy is two years old. I hate to say that it goes fast, because to me each day seems slow but two years have passed since I delivered our boy and that does seem incredible. This birthday was a bit of a whirlwind. We decided to have a little pot-luck party over at our house and it was really hard to be a hostess. Harper seemed just a tad fussier and more needy during the party than usual but Owen seemed to have a great time. He kept saying all day "I want ma cake" or "I want to eat ma cake." Finally the time came when we sang the birthday song and he just kept lunging for the cake -- mouth first. Special thanks to Katrina of Sedona Bride who, stepped in like the great friend she is and shot some photos on my camera for me. It's so great to have a friend whom you can just hand the camera to and say, "can you shoot this?" (and KNOW they can handle it). Sometimes my life as a photojournalist is hard because you want to photograph everything but then you never get to participate! Yesterday I was "wearing" Harper in the Moby Wrap and it proved too hard to play photojournalist at the same time. Enjoy the photos of the kids. ~cameron~

Owen's developmental psychology at 20 months

I thought I'd take some notes on Owen's behavior at this age, now 20 months today because I know I'll forget. This is really for myself so that later with the second child we'll find ourselves saying, "when did Owen do that?" Also I think the grandparents like to read stuff like this. All of his behaviors are perfectly normal and age appropriate according to what I've read online. We think he's pretty smart and lots of fun! I should organize these by category, but it's more fun this way.

• talks/ jabbers constantly, mostly understandable, occasionally hard to know what he's saying.
  
• makes 2-3 word sentences and combines two of them to make longer sentences: "night, night Mommy," "See you in the morning." -- "cement mixer." "pours concrete."
• Yesterday he said "BAA TEET" and we had no idea what he said. It took us until today he said, "want it." "BAA TEET," in the kitchen and then pointed towards the cabinet. I then translated, OH, "special treat" and he repeated, "want it." "BAA Teet." and then added with enthusiasm, "OKAY!!" and nodded his head as if to say, yes, I'll take that now.
  
• would sit for hours to listen to stories with anyone who would read to him anytime of the day.
  
• very good at self-play with trucks, books and matchbox cars for 30 minutes.
  
• knows the difference between a Porsche and a Mustang and can name 10-12 different matchbox cars correctly (Matt taught him).
  
• knows colors: blue, purple, red, green, yellow, brown, black, pink, orange
  
• can tell you 15 opposites from a book we have and learned them in one day! We were surprised. You can say one of the word (even without the book ) and he'll tell you the opposite word: ex: "neat, MESSY" and "clean, DIRTY" -- not sure if the concepts are there, but I'll test that this week.
  
• fake cries when he wants a Popsicle "pop" and can't have one.
  
• stops fake crying when you tell him "big boys don't cry" or "remember big brother's don't cry, they tell Mommy what they want" He says, "YEAH" and stops crying.
  
• puts toys away in the bath singing, "Bye Bye ____ " fill in the blank with a toy. Sings it to a tune we learned in Music Together class.
• loves his music together class. Loves *real* music and *kid* music.
  
• prefers to do things himself, never has been big on holding my hand to do anything, unless he is really nervous.
  
• in a new place, you can put him down and he'll either observe or run around and be social.
  
• can tell you the difference between a front-end loader and a bulldozer. LOVES road building vehicles and book about them.
  
• adores all trucks and most things with wheels will say "I love Trucks" because we have a book of that same title.
  
• doesn't cry when I leave him, instead says, "see ya later, Mommy."
  
• is addicted to yogurt raisins. I think he would eat the whole bag.
  
• knows his African and other animals: giraffes, elephants, lions, tigers, zebra, gazelles, deer, bears, snakes, birds... many more. Loves to name them during story time.
  
• He is extremely attached to a $5.00 orange matchbox garbage truck
• loves to help Daddy fix anything with tools and toolbox. Gets out the tools and attempts to use them on the object.
  
• enjoys the park and thinks he's 4 years old and can climb anything like the big boys.
  
• dances and loves music. Can sing songs in tune, woke up one morning and while Matt opened the blind sang, "Good Day Sunshine."
  
• Can tell you where we are going when in the car: if we pass where his music class is located he'll say, "music class, music class."
  
• goes to bed very easily for nap and bedtime in his crib for anyone who does his routine.
  
• Talks to himself more these days as he's falling asleep, maybe thirty minutes at night and 10 minutes at nap time.
• talks to Kaibee, our dog, when he's alone with her.
  
• really loves Kate, my sister, and her husband, Norm. Anytime you ask him who is coming over he replies, "Tía" with great enthusiasm.
  
• can take his jacket off himself and put or remove his arms in the arm holes when you are dressing or undressing him.
  
• sat without squirming for a haircut for 10 minutes (this surprised Mommy)!
• fed a giraffe a "cookie" at the African Safari zoo in Cottonwood
• not scared of Halloween objects or much in general
• not a big fan of Kaibee barking when he doesn't expect it
• loves other kids and plays well with them, sharing not really a concept he likes but he seems to tolerate it.
  
• doesn't throw tantrums too bad, mostly we can change the topic and he'll stop crying
  
• He is obsessed with that orange garbage truck and will FIXATE on it, if we can't find it or if a part pops off it. He sleeps with it most nights these days (dang thing can be pulled apart in two ways, we fix it 100 times a day).
  
• starting to run a little faster, doesn't really walk backwards yet
  
• can't jump yet
• wakes up happy and talking, usually about his garbage truck
• points to things outside the car and identifies them (knows what to expect from certain trips in the car ie: will tell you what's coming up)
  
• when at computer asks to see "photos" or play songs from iTunes that he likes, "raindrops" or "yee haw"
  
• interesting in potty topics, but not sure if he wants to try it himself.
• has a limited diet, doesn't love to try new things, but occasionally he will in a setting that is not his usual high chair
• if you asked him if he pooped, he might say "yes" or "no" and either could be correct, but if you ask him while he's pooping, if he's pooping, he gives you the right answer.
• seems to understand that there is a baby in my belly. Loves to pull up my shirt and say "baby" or "belly button." Pretty sure he has no idea a real live baby is going to pop out any day now.
  
• Will sit and listen to a 10 minute *paper* story, like Babar with lots of words. Used to get anxious while reading these but now prefers longer stories with a plot.
  
• Also enjoys simple board books. Can fill in the blanks with most of these books.
• loves the "Awe shucks" part of the Runaway Bunny book. Repeats that a lot.
• Yesterday I said, "Daddy is a cowboy" and he replied, "Yee HAW" (I have no idea how he knew that went together- must be in a book?)
• learning about please and thank you. Says "Thank you, Daddy" sometimes if you give him something.
  
• Still uses some Baby Signs for emphasis ex: "MORE MORE" and makes the sign for more or "All done" -- Other signs he still likes, moon, helicopter, airplane, thank you, please.
• speaking of moon: loves to point out the moon when it's dark outside and talks a lot about the moon when he sees it in stories.
• loves anything my Mom "performs" for him and always asks for "more more" when she is singing and dancing for him.
  
• can pick out family members in photographs.
• doesn't watch TV or have interest in it much, although with help, I'm sure we could train him to like it. He has a Thomas the Train video that he likes but doesn't really watch it for long. Prefers books, just like Mommy and Daddy.
  

Owen photos and Halloween

14 weeks pregnant - ME!

So somewhere between me swearing off ever having another baby/pregnancy and talking about how "crazy" anyone would be to WANT to get pregnant with a 12 month-old... I got pregnant. Yes, it was shocking to us as well. So shocking that I avoided the pregnancy test until 11 weeks and we had to have an early ultrasound to date it because we really HAD NO IDEA. So I made it gracefully and unknowingly through the first trimester. This is so my style.

I had not been sick... I didn't get sick with the first pregnancy so it's not a red flag for me. I had been EXTREMELY tired and hungry and that should've been a little hint but I was in denial.

At any rate, I'm pregnant and due with my second child Nov. 12, 2009. Oh yes, I had a baby in 2008 and will have one in 2009. I'll blog more about pregnancy this time and all the joys it brings (READ my clothes already don't fit).

I am looking forward to the "I'm-breastfeeding-I-can-and-will-eat-whatever-I-want -mode" coming up during HOLIDAY SEASON!! YES!!!

The babies will be 20 months apart. Ah, two babies in diapers, isn't that every girl's dream come true? Not mine exactly but I believe we'll have this newborn thing a little more under control this time, right?

13 months and walking

Time for walking! Owen was 13 months on April 1st and he began walking this past Friday and is getting really good at it! He loves to walk around the house in circles holding whatever object holds his interest. I think this new movement has made it harder for him to sleep. We are having some nap resistance-- mostly in the afternoon. More on that in another post.

A visit from Pop

New Owen photos with his Pop, Bob and his first birthday.

BABY SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT

Alert the Media! Owen, my little night waker, slept through the night TWICE this week. This is a miracle. 

Let me preface this story with this thought.  Every single night I think to myself, "self, tonight could be the night that Owen sleeps through the night."  This has been my last thought before bed since, um, maybe July 2008. 

Here's how it went down: 

me: **OMG, it's 4AM and Owen hasn't nursed or stirred yet**

(rustle, flip over, try not to think about a my baby not breathing in his crib)

me: **AHH that thought is too horrible, must wake up husband**

me: "Matt, Owen is still asleep" 

Matt: ereughhh? 

me: "and it's 4AM"

Matt: "that's great honey"

me: "should I check on him?"

Matt: "not if you want to keep sleeping"

me: "okay" 

 -- five minutes of forcing my eyes shut later--

me:**thinking thoughts of baby not breathing in crib...

NO NO push those thoughts away... think of fun dreams and sleeping... WAIT, my breasts hurt, Why do my....** 

WAAA? 

me:**crap, my breasts are engorging, great, now I will get a breast infection.... la la la, go to sleep... hold on, I can't get a breast infection NOW after 11 months of nursing... oh no, oh no, continue thinking all types of completely irrational thoughts... 

I get up and get the breast pump, my arch enemy. Pump for 4 minutes, release pressure... 

Matt: "ereerhhh/??"

me: "I had to pump or I was going to get a breast infection" 

Matt: "go back to sleep, honey" 

me: "okay"

Then by some miracle, I fell back asleep and Owen slept until 6:40AM.  That's right 7:40-6:40 BABY!  

NOW WE ARE TALKING and it only took 11.5 months.  I can sense my beauty sleep is just around the corner.... only time will tell.  I wonder if you can guess what my last thought will be before bed tonight? 

Where is Cameron? Speaking of handmade toys...

Some of you lovely people who actually read my blog might be thinking, "where is Cameron?" Cameron is up to her ears in photo editing. I have approximately 9,000 MORE images to edit in the next week.

I promise I'll be active on this blog next year when I figure out this whole "how-to-juggle-your-life-as-you-knew-it-now-turned-upside-down."

Until then, I leave you with this cute photo (shot by Matt) of Owen playing with his GREAT handmade toy from Matt's Uncle Jim (Aunt Phyllis painted all the rocks). It's modeled after a REAL filling station on route 66. Uncle Jim is a real craftsmen. Actually, everyone in Matt's family is an artist of sorts. It's just about the best thing ever!! I included some photos of the artists at work...







One guess how you know this photo was shot by Matt? Take a look...

hummm, Oh, is that a baby on a chair by himself? The other photos had Matt's hand in them just "in case"-- I reminded him that babies shouldn't stand on chairs by themselves. Ah men. They just live a tad more dangerously, eh?

Sleep Lady and my birthday

Hi, it's my birthday tomorrow. Oct. 16, 1977!!! I'm going to be 31. I wanted to be in the best shape of my life for my 30th birthday (always a goal) but instead I was fat, errr, pregnant. Anyway, I've revised that goal to my 32nd birthday since that seems more realistic.

So, leave me a comment on my birthday. It will make my day. I love comments. It keeps me blogging out there, so if you read this thing, chime in for goodness sakes.

Also I talked to the Sleep Lady today, um, yes, the real live Kim West. It was so cool. I felt like a celebrity. Anyway, my 20 minutes on the phone just wasn't enough. I wanted to fly her out to Flagstaff to stay for a week in our guest room and fix Owen's sleep waking problem. Instead of that, we scheduled another phone consultation next week and I filled out a 9 page questionnaire about his sleep habits, etc. Yes, 9 pages. Oh, boy, oh boy, I'm going nip this thing in the bud, and even spend some cash on a Sleep Lady consultation. I can taste my heavenly sleep coming... oh la la. I'll cry the first time I sleep 8-10 hours. I really will. It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to.

motherhood thoughts....

I wrote this to a old friend in an email tonight and I thought it was something to post on the blog...

I am enjoying motherhood and life altering adjustments are always hard but worth it. It's definitely one of those adult encounters that forces you to become your best self and tries your patience by limiting your sleep. It's amazing what I can do on 5 hours of interrupted sleep now. There is something very special about bringing another life into this world, holding it at night while it gains nourishment from you and comforting it simply by your proximity.

Matt is an amazing Dad... he loves fatherhood and he loves our boy. We fell in love again (lots of adrenaline going post birth) the first nights that Owen was sleeping in his bassinet beside our bed. It was this incredible sense of accomplishment that we GREW this human being out of our own selves. Surreal and definitely amazing. I know you will enjoy the sweet sensitive part of becoming a parent. It is bittersweet for sure but more sweet than anything.

Owen 6 months

click photos to see larger

I was in the studio for one thing or another and so we decided, why not take some photos of the boy on a bear skin rug? This way, I can bribe him with that when he's older. photos ©2008 dawn kish photography don't steal photos off this blog, it makes professional photographers sad. side note: I'm back into my clothes, a little extra flab around the mid-section, but I trust in time, that too will disappear.

July and August photos of Owen